Well I'm not sure what to talk about so I guess I'll continue with the thread of fashion I started to sew last post. Really I never used to care about fashion, actually I hated it. Couldn't stand all the preps and people who had to have the latest fad and dress just like the little consumerist sheep big companies brain washed them to be. I hated the whole idea of shopping and buying things and giving into the machine of trends and popularity. So I rebelled I owned maybe 6-10 articles of clothing that had been bought brand new from a store, of those 3 of them were shoes. I had never gone shopping for pair of pants in a store (other then salvation army) and never had anyones opinion on how I looked (other then my mother) and I had been fine. I felt I didn't need to put make up on and do my hair in order to look beautiful.
And then I met my boyfriend.
He would mention things and hint at this or that and sometimes just flat out say it. I started to realize that maybe I wasn't as awesome as I thought I was. Maybe I wasn't that great cause I didn't buy a new article of clothing every pay check. Cause I was fitting into a mold, a different mold yes but still just a mold. I realized there is no such thing as being original. I can never be JUST myself because there will always be another hundred thousand out there just like me. I'm not different, I'm not unique and I most certainly am not this amazing person just because I don't buy a new article of clothing every pay check.
And that was that.
I sat down and started to make a list of of things I needed to do to improve my looks and closet. I started putting a little more effort into my appearance other then throwing on a Tee a pair of jeans brushing my hair and saying GO. I've been putting a little make up on; nothing major just powder to even my complexion, mascara to accent my eyes and a little lipgloss or chapstick. It's strange how suddenly everything I thought was fine with myself is suddenly no longer good enough. My eyebrows are to strong and lips are thick enough, my hair is to dark (though I always thought it was to begin with), my teeth are to yellow and my skin is to white. I spent a lot of time and energy worrying over how I looked and wondering how I could get it fixed in a way that wouldn't break my bank or go over my budget. I thought and pondered and planned and could never afford to do it, even when I had a little extra money I never had time.
And then I realized.
I do have time and I do have money but it's not who I am and it's not with in my goals so doing it isn't going to make me feel better and dressing up as someone else wont make it feel right. So I started reading fashion blogs to try and find my own not so individual style in this world and started to piece together my fashionably different personality. I will always be thankful I read "The Staples For Every Woman's Wardrobe" it showed me how I can dress with fashion while still staying elegant and having my own flair. Which is the style I had been hunting for and couldn't seem to find. This woman spoke in such a way that it made sense and now I understand and fashion and this whole world makes sense to me now.
Now armed with this knowledge and understanding I have started peiceing together my 'unique' wardrobe. For me the embodiment of what it all can and will be is this jacket.
I'm sure a great many of you will read this and think Oh good for you, you know no one wants to read this and it's stupid to write this stuff and post it on the internet. Well maybe it is but I'm sure there is at least one more person out there just like me and I'm sure this will help or if not resinate with at least her.
EDIT: I think it should be mentioned that my boyfriend did not intend to make me feel less beautiful and did not realize the little comments he was making were having such an effect on me. See he had never dated some one like me before, it had always been brainless airheads who followed fashion as though they depended on it. Also he himself is an very fashionable person so the idea of my world was as strange and foreign to him as his was to me. Sense then we have talked and I have explained myself and my side and he apologized for that was never his intention. He had only wanted me to always feel beautiful and powerful and confident. Which I had needed because although I always thought myself to be beautiful, I had not always been confident or felt I was as beautiful as I could be. If that is making any sense what so ever. So don't look down on him or make bad comments, after all he helped me find another part of myself... Oh and incase it isn't clear I still can't stand the brainless bubble headed fashion zombies. I'm just able to recognize between someone who sets the trends, some one who follows them, and some one who dresses to outlast them all.
EDIT: I think it should be mentioned that my boyfriend did not intend to make me feel less beautiful and did not realize the little comments he was making were having such an effect on me. See he had never dated some one like me before, it had always been brainless airheads who followed fashion as though they depended on it. Also he himself is an very fashionable person so the idea of my world was as strange and foreign to him as his was to me. Sense then we have talked and I have explained myself and my side and he apologized for that was never his intention. He had only wanted me to always feel beautiful and powerful and confident. Which I had needed because although I always thought myself to be beautiful, I had not always been confident or felt I was as beautiful as I could be. If that is making any sense what so ever. So don't look down on him or make bad comments, after all he helped me find another part of myself... Oh and incase it isn't clear I still can't stand the brainless bubble headed fashion zombies. I'm just able to recognize between someone who sets the trends, some one who follows them, and some one who dresses to outlast them all.
